rookiemag:

Ask a Grown Man: John Mulaney

The best advice you’ll ever get from a guy in a tie next to a houseplant.

dulect:

could you please fill out this quick survey for me?

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The Women of This is Where I Leave You

I heard a joke once: Man goes to the doctor. Says he’s depressed, life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. “But Doctor” he says, “I am Pagliacci.”
- Robin Williams (via ointmentgirl)

safeguards:

my thoughts are tomatoes i cannot fathom into ketchup

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